~ Written by Tess von Geczy, who uses the Connection Practice in her daily life, and loves sharing it with others ~
When I first found the Connection Practice in January of 2015, I was in a marriage on the rocks.
As so many of us do, I was pretending to everyone, including myself, that ours was a happy relationship. But behind closed doors, I was at my wits’ end with two children under the age of 5 and an alcoholic partner that was emotionally absent at best.
Although I had been studying and practicing Nonviolent Communication for a few years, having it simplified and put in the format incorporating HeartMath practices absolutely gave it new life and relevance for me.
It proved indispensable when, less than a month later, my then husband was arrested for his third DUI.
On our front lawn. In front of our kids. And it was a hit and run.
I knew I had to make a choice. I had tried to leave twice before but let the guilt of “breaking up the family” cause me to take him back. So one morning, tears in my eyes, I took some time to do the practice. My feelings were: heartbroken, confused, and scared. My needs were: safety, growth, and clarity. I did the Heart-Brain Insight and was told, “What is best for you is best for all. Ending this cycle of dysfunction will only benefit everyone in the situation.”
Finally, I had the clarity to leave for good. My heart told me what my head questioned: that it was okay to take care of myself and my needs, and that by doing so I was helping everyone—my husband and kids included. Somehow, when the message came clearly from my heart, from a place of love, I no longer questioned that it was the right thing to do.
Fast-forward through the rest of that year… moving out, instability, conflict, discovering secrets from the past, fearing for the safety of me and my kids… I NEVER could have made it through without the Connection Practice (and a super amazing empathy buddy!) to help me to process the intense emotional ride.
Now, over two years later, I am happier than I ever thought possible. My kids are joyful and thriving.
I have my own private coaching practice, and I just started a new relationship with a wonderful man that treats me and my kids like gold.
I still use the Connection Practice nearly every day, either with myself, with friends and relations, or now with clients. I have never found a more concise and effective way to move through challenging emotions and learn the lessons needed for accelerated growth and change. It literally grants me the emotional freedom that facilitates my greatest growth and empowerment in the world.
It makes me long for the day when everyone is raised with these vital emotional intelligence skills. When that happens, we’ll truly know heaven on earth.